


To Say Nothing of the Demigod

by wiebrule



Category: Hockey RPF, The Avengers (2012), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Crossover, M/M, Pining, courting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-07
Updated: 2013-03-07
Packaged: 2017-12-04 13:21:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,913
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/711206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wiebrule/pseuds/wiebrule
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jordan rolls his eyes and finds it, as always, impossible to deny Taylor anything. “He’s your responsibility,” he finally says, while watching Thor cram two corn dogs into his mouth at once; Jordan wonders, not for the first time, how Taylor keeps getting them into these situations.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Say Nothing of the Demigod

It starts on a Thursday afternoon, when Taylor comes crashing into the apartment with a taller blond man in tow.  
  
“He followed me home,” Taylor blurts out breathlessly. “Can I keep him?”  
  
Jordan and Ryan exchange a Look; Ryan finds his voice first -- “The fuck is this?”  
  
“I told you already,” Taylor says. “He followed me home. His name is Thor. He says he’s a dog--”  
  
“--demigod--,” Thor interrupts.  
  
“--See? Clearly, he’s _crazy_ and needs our help,” Taylor says triumphantly. “So can I keep him?”  
  
Ryan shrugs and returns to making a sandwich, while Jordan squints at Taylor in an attempt to determine if this is actually happening.  
  
“Where did he come from?” he asks.  
  
“Yes, this is a most excellent tale,” Thor tells him with a wide smile. Taylor nods emphatically. “I was at the store at which you purchase food stuffs, when I chanced upon this young man. He was purchasing these things that are called corn dogs, which sound most delicious, and also these pop tarts of a variety which I have never encountered!”  
  
Jordan waits for the rest of the story, but apparently there isn’t any.  
  
“And...?”  
  
“And so I made his acquaintance, and here we are,” Thor explains as if this makes perfect sense.  
  
Jordan twists the sleeves of his own shirt, trying to wrap his head around the situation and studiously avoiding Taylor’s hopeful face. Finally he says, “I don’t think--”  
  
“--You can have the guest room!” Ryan announces, before taking his plate of sandwich to his room and shutting the door loudly.  
  
“Wonderful!” Thor says cheerfully. “That does sound like a most adequate arrangement. But first, I believe I will require some sustenance. Perhaps one of those aforementioned corn dogs?”  
  
“Sure buddy,” Taylor replies. “Help yourself.”  
  
As Thor beams at him and makes his way over to tear into the box of corn dogs, Jordan tries very hard not to purposely slam his head against the kitchen cupboards. “What the fuck is happening?” he mutters under his breath. “How is this my life?”  
  
“It’s just for a few days, until he gets his shit sorted out,” Taylor says, startling Jordan. “You heard him: he thinks he’s a dog! That’s weird! He seems like a beauty: have a heart, Ebby.”  
  
Jordan rolls his eyes and finds it, as always, impossible to deny Taylor anything. “He’s your responsibility,” he finally says, while watching Thor cram two corn dogs into his mouth at once; Jordan wonders, not for the first time, how Taylor keeps getting them into these situations.

* * *

  
Having been told by Jordan that leaving a practical stranger alone in their apartment is ‘weird,’ Taylor decides to bring Thor to practice with them the next morning. When he announces this, Jordan stares at him for a long moment before telling him that he’s on his own and that he and Ryan are going in early. Taylor tries not to let that disappoint him too much; after all, he has a Thor to look after. But it must be clear all over his face, because before he can back the truck out of his parking space, Thor lays a hand on his arm.  
  
“My friend, are you and your male companion having difficulties of a romantic nature? He has disappointed you by denying you of his presence.”  
  
“My...what?” Taylor eyebrows raise in surprise.  
  
“My apologies. Your... how did the lady Jane put it... boyfriend?” Thor supplies, looking disconcertingly earnest.  
  
Taylor splutters. “He...what...he’s not my...we’re not...I’m...um. Huh.” He pauses, trying again. “We’re not...like that?” he manages the second time around.  
  
Thor nods as if this explains everything.  
  
“Then this is the problem, is it not? We shall have to find a way to demonstrate your affections to your beloved.” He pats Taylor on the shoulder, looking rather pleased with the suggestion.  
  
“But he’s not my, um,  _beloved_ ,” Taylor protests.  
  
“Do you wish it so, though?”  
  
Taylor thinks about this for a long moment. “Maybe?”  
  
“Splendid!” Thor exclaims. “Now, we must consider how best to prove your devotion. I do not know the customs of mortals, but I do have some experience thanks to the kindness of the lady Jane.”  
  
“Who’s lady Jane?” Taylor asks.  
  
“Why, my most beloved, of course,” Thor says passionately. “She is the most delightful lady that you will ever lay eyes upon. I have invited her to come up to visit and meet you and your wonderful teammates. Perhaps she will bring her trusty companion called Darcy.”  
  
“Right,” Taylor says. “So uh. You were saying that. Maybe you knew how I could like. Get Ebs to, you know.”  
  
Thor looks thoughtful for a moment. “I won the affections of my lady Jane by drawing her a map of something about which she is most passionate. Perhaps you could also share your knowledge, and win over your fine friend with a display of artistry and ingenuity.”  
  
“Maybe,” Taylor says slowly, thinking it over. “We’ll see.” He smiles at Thor, putting the truck in reverse. “Thanks, buddy.”

* * *

  
The team is at the arena and milling about the dressing room when, suddenly, there’s a weird plume of green smoke drifting through the air. Sam, who’s the first to notice it, frowns at anyone and everyone.  
  
“...the hell is this?”  
  
Before anyone can answer, there’s a weird flash and suddenly there’s another man standing in the middle of the dressing room. He’s thin and dressed in black and green, and he also looks very put out.

“I have reason to believe that one or more of you knows the location of my brother.”  
  
“Loki!” Thor exclaims brightly from where he’s sitting near the door. “I am glad to see you, brother.”  
  
“You’ve _got_ to be kidding me,” Jordan mutters under his breath.  
  
“It is _terrible_  to see you,” Loki replies venomously. “I am only here because I wish to make your life more miserable than it surely already is.”  
  
“Are you guys going to fight?” Ryan questions from the other side of the room. “Because you should fight. Fight, fight fight, fight!”  
  
“Nay, there shall be no fighting this day,” Thor assures them with a smile.  
  
Loki spins around to look at Ryan. “You, there. I like your style.”  
  
“That’s too bad. I don’t like your face,” Ryan replies, disinterested already.  
  
Loki just laughs heartily.  
  
“We are all friends here,” Thor interjects. “Let us not argue! I have been promised a match of ice hockey. I would like to observe this surely kingly sporting event.”  
  
Loki rolls his eyes, before looking around the dressing room boredly and stopping thoughtfully at Ryan.  
  
“I shall return to bring havoc, but it shall be when you least expect it. Be on your guard mortals.” He’s still looking at Ryan when he says the last, and Thor looks slightly perturbed by this. Before anyone can say anything else there’s a sudden puff of green smoke and Loki is gone as suddenly as he arrived.  
  
“Uh, well,” Jordan speaks up awkwardly. “So that’s basically the stupid terribleness that has been my life over the last twenty-four hours. Can we please just get on the ice and convince ourselves that this is all just some sort of awful collective nightmare?”  
  
All of them grumbling, the team obliges grudgingly, filing out to take to the ice for morning skate, Thor following them out looking delighted and Ryan bringing up the rear looking uncharacteristically dazed.  
  
“Wait Ebs,” Taylor says, putting a hand on his shoulder to stop him. “I have something for you.”  
  
“Yeah?” Jordan says curiously. “What’s up?”  
  
“Um.” Taylor pulls out a folded up piece of paper and hands it over to Jordan, who opens it up and stares at it.  
  
“Hallsy. This is a mock-up of a powerplay situation.”  
  
“Right!” Taylor says hopefully. “Do you like it?”  
  
“Um,” Jordan says. “...yes? Maybe you should show this to Coach and we can practice it today?” He crumples up the paper and tosses it into his locker. “C’mon - we’re gonna be late.”  
  
When he walks resolutely out of the room to join the team on the ice, he’s not sure if he’s imagined the look of disappointment on Taylor’s face and isn’t sure he understands it.

* * *

They’ve only been scrimmaging for a few minutes when Dubnyk goes down awkwardly; it’s nothing major, he says, but with the injury luck the team’s had for the last few years, they decide it’s better safe than sorry and they pull him off to be looked over by the trainers. With him missing for the rest of practice and Khabby perpetually dealing with the effects of age and time, they don’t have another goalie for practice.  
  
“Oh hey, wait, I have an idea!” Taylor says brightly. He skates over to the bench and gestures to Thor, who bounds down immediately.  
  
“Can I be of assistance to you, my fine friend?” he asks. “I should like to repay you for your kindness in permitting me to dwell under your roof.”  
  
“Ever play hockey before?”  
  
“No, I have not yet had the privilege of participating in such a match before.”  
  
“Did you want to?”  
  
“That sounds most enjoyable! Can you explain the rules?”  
  
Taylor chews on his lower lip, thinking. “Well, you’re going to be the goalie. So...we’re going to shoot pucks at you. And you just have to, you know. Make sure they don’t go in to the goal. Sound okay?”  
  
Thor considers Taylor’s words for a moment before coming to a decision. “I am certain that I can perform this task for you. I have noticed, however, that neither you nor your companions employ the space over the rink. If I were to fly, would that be within the bounds of the regulations?”  
  
“Um,” Taylor says, bewildered. “No? I mean, I never saw anyone try before, but I’m pretty sure you can’t do that. So no flying. And uh. Don’t do what your brother did either? Like...no green smoke and disappearing?”  
  
Thor nods sagely, as if he has been given great words of wisdom.  
  
“Certainly. My brother’s tricks are usually outside of the regulations, so this is wise. I shall join you on the ice.”  
  
“Beauty,” Taylor says. “I’ll ask the equipment guys to find you some skates and pads and stuff. Thanks, bro: I owe you one.” He grins widely as he skates away calling out to the rest of the team -- “Boys, I found us a goalie!”

* * *

  
The next time Loki shows up is at the apartment in the middle of Ryan’s room, where Ryan has been hiding out to studiously avoid the cow eyes Taylor’s been perpetually making at Jordan, the obvious irritation Jordan’s been stewing in ever since Taylor’s new project showed up at the door, and the excessive enthusiasm of said project.  
  
“We’re going to make some mischief,” Loki says simply, completely avoiding the fact that he’s just _appeared in the middle of Ryan’s room_. “I believe you wish to bring misery to the mortals and my brother every bit as much as I do.”  
  
Ryan considers this for a long moment, before shrugging. “Yeah, all right: I’ve got nothing better to do.”  
  
Loki smiles in a way that is both unpleasant and promising at once. “Neither do I. And that is the point. Now, tell me what you know of the two buffoons with whom you reside. How can we best bring mayhem to their lives?”

* * *

  
“I think that went rather well,” Thor says around a mouthful of poptart to Taylor and Jordan in the living room of the apartment. “What great fun it was!”  
  
“Have you seriously never played hockey before?” Taylor says, mystified. “Because you were kind of amazing and stopped everything. Where are you _from_ if you’ve never played hockey?”  
  
Thor takes the time to swallow his poptart before answering the question. “I have not had the privilege, no. I hail from the land of Asgard which has been relegated to the myths of your people, but it is a beautiful land. I have frequently admired its halls and spires from the bifrost while riding across the fabled rainbow bridge on Agni, the most splendid unicorn in my father’s stables.”  
  
Taylor’s eyes light up. “Rainbow bridge? Like...the one from Mario Kart? That’s awesome!”  
  
“It can indeed steal one’s breath away!” Thor replies. “Tell me though, who is this Mario? If he knows of the rainbow bridge then I must congratulate him and welcome him to the halls of my ancestors!”  
  
“Bro, it’s a game! You never played before?” Taylor springs up from his chair, scurrying over to grab a Wii controller and tossing it at him. “You’re gonna love it!”  
  
Catching the controller easily, Thor grins before ambling over in the direction of the living room where the TV and console were.  
  
“I do enjoy games! My childhood friends and I frequently enjoyed playing the game where we would wrestle Frost Giants, and see who was able to throw them the farthest!”  
  
Jordan scrapes back his chair loudly and stands up, excusing himself before stalking off to his room and shutting the door behind him.  
  
Thor turned his head, frowning slightly before turning back to Taylor. “Did he not enjoy your gift?”  
  
“No, I guess not.” Taylor sighs. “I dunno what his damage is. Any more advice?”  
  
“A fight for honour, perhaps?” Thor suggests. “A triumph against a Destroyer to demonstrate physical prowess?”  
  
“Um,” Taylor says. “I’m not very good at fighting. One time I got in a hockey fight and fell. And sprained my ankle. So. No. What’s a destroyer, anyway?”  
  
“A most worthy foe,” Thor replies distractedly. “I am afraid that I still do not completely understand mortals. The courtship of two teammates of mine seemed to primarily involve yelling and the exchanging of insults, and I confess I found myself most mystified. Perhaps the lady Jane will be able to shed light on the situation.”  
  
“Well, I don’t wanna, you know. Upset him or whatever.” Taylor says. Then he brightens. “Your girl? She coming to visit you or something?”  
  
“Indeed, she will be arriving upon the morrow,” Thor answers cheerfully.  
  
Behind them, unseen, Loki and Ryan loosen the lids to the pepper and salt shakers before exchanging silent high-fives and disappearing again in a puff of smoke, hand-in-hand.

* * *

  
The knock on the door early the next morning has Thor eagerly pacing over to open it, and then shouting a delighted: “Jane and Darcy! Welcome! We are all blessed by your delightful presences!” He quickly wraps Jane in a hug.  
  
“Hi Thor,” Jane says rather breathlessly, returning the hug. When she’s able to pull back she smiles at him easily. “I’m glad to see you too. What have you been doing all the way up here?”  
  
Grinning widely, Thor leads both Darcy and Jane over into the kitchen.  
  
“I have made the acquaintance of the most delightful team, and they have invited me to join their ranks as a ‘goalie’! I signed a contract with them for fun.”  
  
Darcy whistles as she looks around, obviously impressed.  
  
“These are some sweet digs. Are any of these dudes single? I could do with some of that.”  
  
“Dacry,” Jane interjects, before turning back to Thor. “You signed for fun? I guess that’s as good a reason as any.”  
  
“Nay, I think you misunderstand,” Thor says. “They promised me one million units of fun, and that sounded like a great deal so I quickly accepted.”  
  
“Yeah, that does sound like a lot of fun,” Darcy agrees.  
  
(In the bathroom, Loki and Ryan add half a bottle of purple dye to the shampoo before cackling diabolically.)  
  
Taylor chooses that moment to wander out from the kitchen, making a face. “Oh man, Thor: those eggs at breakfast were so salty - I don’t know how it happened, but I think there was like, half a shaker of salt in that.”  
  
“Indeed, they were most delicious,” Thor agrees readily. “Jane, this is my fine new friend! He has been kind to me, and I wish to repay him by helping him come together with the one who holds his heart. Alas, my advice has been lacking. Perhaps you could aid him?”  
  
Jane smiles at Taylor, offering him a hand to shake.  
  
“I’m Jane. It’s nice to meet you. Any friend of Thor’s is a friend of mine.”  
  
Taylor shakes her hand a little confusedly, and then Darcy’s after she extends it eagerly.  
  
“Uh, cool. Hey.”  
  
Jane and Darcy exchange a quick look before Jane goes right back to smiling.  
  
“Why don’t you, Darcy and I all go have lunch? Maybe we can talk about what’s troubling you.”  
  
Darcy turns to Thor, disappointed. “He’s gay, isn’t he? Men. Like parking spots. Taken or gay.”  
  
Jane raises an eyebrow. “How can a parking spot be gay?”  
  
“You’re so literal, Jane,” Darcy complains, rolling her eyes. “It was, like. A _metaphor_.”  
  
Jordan chooses that moment to wander out of his bedroom and pauses in his tracks at the guests occupying the front hall. “Uh. Hi?”  
  
Jane waves politely, and Darcy’s grin widens. “Are you like a parking spot, too?”  
  
“Um. Let’s go,” Taylor suggests and quickly ushers both women out the door to Thor’s cries of “Farewell!” and leaving Jordan and Thor standing there together.  
  
“...I’ve got stuff to do?” Jordan says tentatively and ducks away again, narrowly missing running into Ryan and Loki in the hallway with armfuls of bedsheets to be shortened. Thor just chuckles to himself and decides that it’s a good day to play more Mario Kart to hone his skills in a manner fit for a champion.

* * *

  
“So you’re in love with your roommate,” Jane guesses astutely over a plateful of french toast big enough to feed a fairly literal army.  
  
Taylor shifts uncomfortably and glances from Jane to his plate where there’s still almost half of a pizza.  
  
“Uh. No. I don’t like Ryan like that,” he says, stalling for time.  
  
Darcy, who is sitting with her feet on the chair opposite her, gives Taylor her best ‘bitch please’ face.  
  
“Uh huh, right. Is Ryan the parking spot we met earlier?”  
  
“Parking spot?” Taylor repeats, confused.  
  
“Guy. In your apartment,” Darcy says impatiently. “Was that Ryan? ‘Cuz if he’s not the guy you’re into, he should be.”  
  
“No, that’s Ebs,” Taylor says. He huffs a little sigh and pokes at his pizza.  
  
Jane makes a sympathetic face before eating a huge bite of french toast. When she’s able to speak again, she taps the table thoughtfully before looking at Taylor.  
  
“Have you tried just telling him you like him? I hear most guys are into straightforward.”  
  
“Or you could do what Jane did and hit him with your car!” Darcy announces cheerfully.  
  
“Darcy,” Jane says warningly.  
  
“Twice!” Darcy continues, grinning. And then: “Ow! Jane! Why are you kicking me?”  
  
“You hit Thor with a car?” Taylor says, mystified.  
  
“By accident!” Jane says defensively. “He was fine! He’s a demigod.”  
  
Taylor blinks. “I thought he said he was a dog.”  
  
“I can see how you could make that mistake,” Darcy says while leaning back. “But really, if you want to hit him with a car that’s cool, I can arrange it. I know a guy.”  
  
“I’m not hitting Ebs with a car!” Taylor looks horrified. “We need him so we can make the playoffs! And he’s my  _friend_!”  
  
Darcy considers this while Jane shakes her head and gives Taylor a look expressing her frustration.  
  
“Don’t listen to Darcy, she thinks that--”  
  
“What!? I know everything. I think that if you really wanna catch this guy, you should maybe like. Get naked and then fight somebody. Who doesn’t like that? I like that. in fact I think you should do that right now, we can practice. The get naked part.”  
  
Taylor looks speculatively at Darcy, like maybe she’s actually onto something, when Jane’s eyes widen. “Oh, no. No don’t listen to her. Ever. Don’t do that. Don’t fight someone naked: that happens in movies and it never ends well. Just...you know. Be honest and brave. You can do this.” She grins. “Trust me: I’m a doctor.”  
  
Darcy groans. “I hate it when she says that. It wasn’t even that funny the first time, Jane!”  
  
Taylor goes back to poking at his pizza, thinking.

* * *

  
The Oilers have their next game in Vancouver; Thor opts to meet them there rather than flying on the team charter --  
  
“I prefer to fly on my own,” he had announced with an air of regret. “I have great respect for your metal birds, but the large ones are very slow.”  
  
(“Hey, Ebs?” Taylor says tentatively on the flight to B.C.  
  
“Yeah?” Jordan looks up from where he’s been fiddling with his laptop. “What’s up?”  
  
“I like you,” Taylor blurts out before he can lose his nerve, running a hand through his hair with the newly purple tint that he can’t quite understand how it got there.  
  
Jordan laughs. “I like you too, buddy. Wanna re-watch the third _Mighty Ducks_ movie with me?”  
  
Taylor sighs.)  
  
In the Canucks away dressing room, Loki appears and, with Ryan’s help, fills three pairs of shoes with shaving cream.  
  
In the stands, a man in a sharp suit takes out a notebook from his breast pocket when Sam scores an unassisted goal and begins to take notes.

* * *

  
“Son of Coul!” Thor greets loudly, pushing the damp purple hair out of his face after the game, waving at Phil Coulson when he makes his way toward the visitor’s bench. “What brings you to this match of ice hockey?”  
  
“Visiting,” Phil replies calmly, looking from Thor to the faces of his nearby teammates. “I’m here scouting. I’m a hockey scout.”  
  
“Um,” Jordan says. “But we’re professional hockey players.”  
  
“Hockey scout,” Phil repeats. He nods once with finality. “Everyone try your hardest, you might make it big.”  
  
Thor nods enthusiastically. “We shall all strive to do our bests!”  
  
Phil gives him a faint smile of acknowledgement before turning and wandering back off towards the stands.  
  
The team just shrugs and filters back to the dressing room to shower and change. Jordan sighs and wonders when his life became weird.  
  
“Cheer up, young friend!” Thor’s voice booms as he throws a heavy, cheerful arm around Jordan’s shoulders. “We return home as the victors! Fortune continues to smile down upon us! However, I do not comprehend the use of “Oilers” for a team name. Perhaps we can use an alternative name. I propose ‘The Avengers.’ Too. ‘The Avengers, Too.’”  
  
In front of them, Taylor cranes his head around to offer Jordan a small smile that Jordan finds himself returning in spite of himself.

* * *

  
“I have a proposal,” Loki says, appearing in Ryan’s room with no advance warning. “In the name of mischief.”  
  
“Okay?” Ryan says curiously. “What would that be.”  
  
“I propose that we sleep together,” Loki says without preamble. And then adds, “For mischief,” helpfully.  
  
Ryan considers him for a long moment. And then shrugs. “Yeah, okay. For mischief.”

* * *

  
There isn’t a whole lot of warning later that afternoon when the front door bursts open and a group of sheepish looking people wander in, led by an unapologetic-looking man in an expensive suit and perfectly sculpted hair.  
  
“Alright ladies and gentlemen. And Canadians,” the man, Tony Stark, announces. “Show’s over: we need our thunder god back.”  
  
“Friends! Welcome all!” Thor calls loudly from where he’s sitting on the couch, wearing a set of five dollar pajamas from Walmart that have bunnies on them.  
  
“Hey buddy,” one of the others - Bruce Banner - greets with a smile. “Who are your new friends?”  
  
“These are my new friends,” Thor enthuses. “The small one is called Jordan. The other one is called Taylor. And there is another one who is called Ryan: he has befriended my brother, Loki.”  
  
“It’s a pleasure,” greets the tallest of the newcomers. “My name’s Steve, and I’m sorry for just walking in on this but it’s something of an emergency.”  
  
“The most important kind of emergency,” deadpans Tony. “The kind that involves a lawsuit.”  
  
“Copyright infringement,” Clint adds. “Can’t believe you’re trying to plagiarize our team for some shitty sport.”  
  
Taylor springs out of his seat on the couch at that, bristling. “Hockey is not a shitty sport! Hockey’s _the best thing ever_!”  
  
Thor chuckles heartily. “Ah, the competitive spirit is strong in this one! What a great quality to have in a friend!”  
  
“I suppose they make good cannon fodder,” Natasha says with a straight face and a slightly raised eyebrow.  
  
Jordan’s on his feet instantly. “Listen. You can’t just come into my house and start insulting people! You just can’t! I mean, you’re super-hot and all, but you just _can’t_. So stop that.” And then, he remembers himself and his Saskatchewan upbringing. “Uh. Please.”  
  
Natasha looks kind of amused while most of the other newcomers just look kind of terrified. Taylor doesn’t notice, however, because he’s too busy gazing adoringly at Jordan.  
  
Tony looks around the room before settling on Thor. “Alright you. Sparky. It’s nice that you’ve decided to adopt a pack of chihuahua puppies on ice, but we’ve got to get you home to settle this. Besides, what if your brother turns up and decides to blow up half of the city again?.”  
  
It’s at this moment, that Loki appears suddenly in the living room, Ryan in tow. “No, I’m content here,” he says, shrugging before sitting down on the couch and beginning to eat from the bag of potato chips sitting there.  
  
An awkward silence settles over the room. Loki crunches on another chip. Ryan shrugs and sits down next to him, also digging into the bag.  
  
Tony turns to Steve who just shrugs. “I guess as long as they don’t use the name, Thor can do whatever he wants.”  
  
(This elicits a sudden choking from Loki.)  
  
“I shall see you soon, my friends,” Thor assures them, standing so that he can go and clasp each of their hands. “I shall return once I have finished winning a noble victory with this fine team!”  
  
Steve smiles and shakes Thor’s hand before nodding towards the door. “We should get going. I’m sorry we burst into your apartment like this.” He directs the last towards Jordan, who frankly seems the most reasonable.  
  
Tony mock-salutes on his way out the door. “You know,” he directs toward Jordan. “Maybe you’d be less bitchy if you were getting laid on the regular. Which you could be.” He inclines his head toward Taylor, replacing his sunglasses over his eyes. “That one over there’d probably love to help you out with that.”  
  
Bruce coughs back a laugh. “Tactful, Tony.”  
  
“I had to fly to _Edmonton_ , they owe me some kind of entertainment. Is Edmonton even a place?” Tony is still waxing poetic about his disbelief in the existence of a place this cold and irrelevant to his interests when Bruce ushers him and Clint out the door. Steve is about to follow him, but hesitates for a second and gives Jordan and Taylor a quick, worried look.  
  
“...you might want to consider getting married first, though. You know.”  
  
Natasha claps a hand on Steve’s back before practically shoving him out the door. The words “Cap, you delightful hypocrite, you,” trailing after them.  
  
Thor’s the last one out the door, pausing only to give Taylor the thumbs up and a not-so-subtle wink, before shutting the door behind him, washing the room into silence once more, save the sound of Loki and Ryan crunching on chips.  
  
“I’m going to miss him,” Taylor says finally. “He was a good, uh. Dog.”  
  
“Demigod,” Jordan supplies helpfully.  
  
“Whatever,” Taylor says. “He gave good advice.”  
  
“About what?”  
  
Taylor shrugs. “Stuff. You know. How to get someone to, I dunno. Notice you and stuff.”  
  
Jordan considers him for a long moment. “I’m pretty good at advice sometimes. Maybe I could help?”  
  
“Christ,” Ryan says from across the room. “Shut the fuck up and make out already you stupid peasants!”  
  
When Jordan and Taylor look over at him, he’s definitely naked on top of Loki, which is just...weird. Jordan coughs and looks back at Taylor before nodding towards the bedrooms.  
  
“So uh, you wanna go make out then?”  
  
“Yeah,” Taylor replies, relieved. “Yeah I do.”  
  
Outside, the skies darken until a thunderstorm stirs, thunder crackling across the sky -- Taylor curls his hand around Jordan, leading the way, and, happily, thinks that somewhere, Thor must be blessing them with his approval.

* * *

 

EPILOGUE:  
  
They’ve just had a long, hard practice, and Sam’s ready to go home and sleep for a million years. He opens his locker to find a clean shirt to pull on, when a piece of paper falls out of it and into his lap. Curiously, he looks around to see if anyone’s watching, before opening up the folded-up note:  
  
 _Dear sir or madame,_  
  
 _You have demonstrated significant competence in areas recognized by me, a hockey scout. If you are interested in alternative employment, please contact me at the number included below._  
  
 _Sincerely,_  
  
 _Phil Coulson, hockey scout_  
  
There’s a business card included with a phone number and the words “(you should probably call from an untraceable number)” scribbled on it in pencil.  
  
Sam looks around the room, at the way Jonesy somehow has toothpaste in his hair, Theo’s going around insisting everyone sniff his gloves to see if he needs to Febreze them, and Taylor’s unabashedly still making adoring cow eyes at Jordan, and seriously, _seriously_ considers it.  
 **  
**

* * *

 

 


End file.
